WHY BRIDES WANT IN ON THE SPEECH BANTER
Not cool with three blokes taking centre stage at your top table? The award-winning comedy writers at Speechy give us their expert tips on how to give the best man a run for his money.
Happily, more women than ever are grabbing the mic at weddings. Bride speeches are a great way of thanking everyone, but don’t miss out on getting some big laughs, too!
It’s scientifically proven that teasing is good for relationships, so send up your new hubby with a clear conscience! Not sure what’s an acceptable level of mickey-taking? Try some of these…
Does he always talk nonsense to your cat while he’s making coffee in the mornings? Maybe he has a special ‘putting the recycling out’ tune that he whistles without fail every fortnight? These are the things your friends and family NEED to know.
Remember that time he jump-scared someone’s granny instead of you on your date at Madame Tussaud’s? Remember how you laughed so hard you tripped over a waxy Prince Harry and peed your pants? Perhaps your fella innocently but inappropriately complimented your mum’s bush when admiring the garden at a family barbeque? Work these gems into your narrative!
HIS & HERS HOBBIES
Admit it – you’re as daft as he is! Do you find yourselves competing on special research tasks on Pokémon Go? Does he totally get your obsession with Keanu Reeves (and you secretly think he likes him more than you do)? These are the things that make you perfect for one another – put them in your speech!
HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?
Reading Dan Brown fiction before lights out is fair game, him treating you to an awkward striptease probably not so much. As long as you’re not revealing his weird bedroom habits, you can poke fun at pretty much anything.
DON’T FORGET THE CUTE STUFF
It’s always nice to sign off with something warm and fuzzy. The poor guy will be getting a roasting from the best man next, after all. How about…
Confess you still get butterflies when he lets his hair grow a bit too long then comes out of the barbers looking like a fresh new boyfriend with his short back and sides
Tell him no one makes omelettes as fluffy as he does
Say you’re forever grateful to him for explaining how a pension works
Describe your partner in as few words as possible: ‘Tommy Shelby without the razor blades’ is more interesting than saying ‘I love his sexy Brummie accent, his cool dress sense, and the way looks after his family. He’s also a lovely pacifist’.
ENJOY THE MOMENT
Rehearse your speech so you know it inside out and can relax into it on the day. Make sure you smile throughout and don’t forget to pause for laughter – you’ve earned it!
Speechy are a team of TV and radio comedy writers who create amazing wedding speeches.
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